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WHOOAAA I fell off.... well folks i have been here there and everywhere west of the contenental divide.... been traveling like crazy the last two weeks from LA to Salt Lake to Calgary to Vancouver back to Calgary to brandon to Winnipeg to Phoenix back to Winnipeg and finally back to brandon... as where i am headed back to Winnipeg tomorrow so havent had much of a chance to blog... i promise i promise i will update you guys on whats going on and update my ugly ass blog soon enough with some pictures and fun new stories~!

starting with this as i was looking through my bed side i found my good old journal titled "the Dream Book" where when i have a strange dream i immediately write it down in the morning as not to dilute the story.

next post i will have a random story from this book.. as for now i gotta sleep to leave to peg city at 6 tomorrow morn' so ill catch ya later on.

As the curtains close..

life as i know it is slowly coming to an end... this week i will embark on a journey toward the great white north... a 23.5 hour drive to calgary alberta as i leave my DC job and LA life behind.. who knows what the future brings? i could be back here as quickly as i left.. but as of now i am heading to canada for a few days before i start working with the rick man and head down to puerto vallerta for my first official business. pray for me friends as life is about to change abruptly for me! 

summary story of life here later...

As life slows like a turtle on mescaline.....

i begin to think to myself.. what has happened to me that has lead me to acquire this immanence in one's self loathing and feelings of lost motives and goals.

Today, as my cousin Crystal, and my best Canadian born friend Corey came into my Los Angeles life, i began to ponder a few things... although this time in my life seems to be one that i SHOULD be feeling my greatest, i have yet to induce a high level of endorphins into my blood stream.. allowing for any opioid receptors to be free from any much wanted "happiness"  blockage... 

why?

 well your guess i as good as mine at this moment.. maybe its because i am sick, maybe its because i am not as close to God as i could be, maybe its because i long for something i have stayed absent from for over a year... Dating.

seeing that i have medicine now for my bodily issues and have been reading and praying regularly/ feeling like i am in a good Godly place. My instinct is leaning me toward the last on the docket.. its been so long i dont even remember what dating is...  

par example 

As Cor and myself stood in the ridiculously long line that awaits me at my favorite yogurt spot in little tokyo (that place makes a killing), I happened to notice a very, very, attractive young woman in-front of us inline.. i thought to myself "wow this is one of the first beautiful woman i have seen in LA, BEAUTIFUL.. (and that doesn't mean just hot because shes got make up on.. no this means no nothing needed to look good.. good as gold just as God brought her into this world)"  as i stood there in disbelieve i mumbled some bullshit conversation to my good friend corey with no intention to pay attention to his answer, strictly to prove to someone, anyone, that i wasn't lost and hypnotized, stuck on this woman's proportional perfection and perfect complexion..  

as we stood there, all of us stuck in line squished halfway between the entrance door's, something amazing happens... she glances* at me:)! then she looks away:(... and she glances* again:)! our eyes lock, smiles meet, and we seem to make a connection that i haven't felt in a long time!!, as im standing there hoping that i never loose the feeling of this moment.. i hear a loud crash! BANG!, and a crash again... our eyes break... i look to my left to see a crazed japanese woman trying to push her way through the door we had been squished beside for the past few minutes, that i might add, is clearly marked in big letters PULL. the woman looses her temper, screams something in japanese and pushes past us... i laugh. 

to my surprise my new "friend" shares the same sort of humour as me (something about a person going directly back to there primitive defense mechanism of loosing there temper on something small and that they are solely lone with the fault, in order to regain self confidence and not feel like a total jack ass.. that i find hysterical!) she laughs! then makes a cool calm collected and clever joke about this woman's negligence... could it be!! has God&Fate brought me a mate???

PAUSE!

here is the important part.. this is the most perfect situation a man could possibly ask for in a chance encounter with a woman... you have been given the three most important signs 

1. she looked at you, not once in a glance, but she came back for the second peak!.. what doest this mean? she doesn't think you look like a horses ass! so check for me 

2. you realize you both have something in common before you speak.. helps you to recognize that despite your obvious physical attraction.. there might just be something else in that relationship.. some substance.. (also helps with #3)check 

3. (now this is where you really need to not f**k it up..) she initiates conversation. this is soo big! even if she doesn't do it with words.. the fact that she opens up her body language and doesn't run in fear as you approach should let you know that she's at least not disgusted with your very existence and will give you a chance! check again for me

UNPAUSE

this is where i F**ked up..... 

not only did i have check on all three signs a woman should give you and a perfect opportunity to possibly start a new chapter in my love life, but she stood there looking at me waiting for a response from her joke.. in my mind was a battle at this point (what do i do? do i go for it? do i not? ya i should go for it for sure lets go for it) and all the while my mind was discussing this and coming to the conclusion to go for it, my mouth had already let out a light and polite chuckle followed by a bland ya.

ha... ha...  ha ya.........

ARE YOU SH*TTING ME?????

wow Jordan you are brilliant!!! thats what your mouth comes up with while your brain cant make up its mind..

she looked at me with a preposterous look on her face.. half smiling, looking confused, something along the lines of - does he not understand what i want him to do? maybe i wasn't clear enough with my joke? is he married? maybe he is just slightly handy capped? 

as the smile faded and she turned her head back toward the yogurt-land dispensers, i looked at her dumbfounded at my own foolishness and turned my eyes back on the back end of her beautiful form watching as we slowly moved forward in line, knowing that i will never again be able to relinquish what i had lost in that moment of "dumbassness".

i thought about fixing my mistake all the way until the cash register where i almost got the courage too!... but i didnt..

and as she sat at a table and i walked out the door she looked at me with a twinkle in her eye like it was saying "we could have been great together" and i looked back with a twinkle in my eye saying back to her "sorry im a meathead... i guess for the rest of my life its just me and my good ol' friend J I L L aka H A N D"

and i exit the store