modern philanthropy

this would half to be my new found favourite philanthropist... a passionate man with a love for the poor and a gift to be able to nurture them into hope from nothing.

The Dream Book

okay starting to blog again... life has been busy as i have spent most my time trying to get set up working.. and establish myself in this new span of life.....

ill begin my "new blog" with what i promised from the old one....

My Dream Book

Entry 2 -

A reoccurring childhood Dream.

"Through the Looking Glass"

i had this particular dream, that i so affectionately call "through the looking glass", probably around a dozen times during my early childhood years.. The Dream always begins to unknowingly to be a dream. due to my abrupt endings i think it usually takes place sometime during my last REM sleep period. In the beginning i would always "wake up" from my slumber as i would on any other given day. I would begin to walk though my daily morning routine of traveling from my room to the small outdated family community bathroom directly across the hall, the horrific shag carpet pieces running through my toes. eventually i would make my rounds, visiting my sisters room to say good morning then off to my mothers room. eventually i would notice that the "wall of mirrors" we had directly at the end of the houses main hallway was somewhat peculiar, it didn't seem to be portraying a correct picture as the law of reflection stated it should. It was altered, i would usually ignore this and go along my day as everything was normal.. soon enough i would find out that things where far from it... although our family seemed to be the same there was something not right, something missing. they had no warmth to them, seemingly not having the soul and spirit that i knew my family members to have.. everyone felt so.... fake! i found myself trying to get away from my family members, only for them to follow me eerily around. I began to realize the day that had began so well, was rapidly becoming more and more Cordaline..ish. This altered family began to grow increasingly more upset as they could now see my insecurity with who they were and my fear of what they had become, this would begin a horrible verbal assault brought on by these.. things.. i called my family. "If you don't want to be here with us then just wake up!!" was a phrase that began to become all to familiar. At this point was always the time i would run back and sit cross-legged in front of the distorted mirror and pray to wake up.. i would try and try with every ounce of strength my mind could muster to wake out of this horrible place but looking into the mirror all i saw was frightening distorted demonic faces. The more i pray the more they scream, surrounding me, cursing me. i began to cry... looking at the mirror i realized it was more of a distorted window now, then a mirror.. i could no longer see the resembling beings reflection behind me cursing, but i could now see into myself. being able to see every corner of my psyche. Just as i began to realize the potential i had staring me in the face, just as i begin to see things about myself i had never realized.......

I woke up. get out of bed and begin my daily routine.. i would walk across the old red shag carpet feeling every shred of fabric run between my toes, into the outdated bathroom i would go.. and then over to wish my sisters and my mother a good morning... all the while noticing something strange... distorted if u will, with the mirror in the centre of the hallway......

this would repeat 3 to 4 times before i would actually wake up.. always followed by 2 to 3 days of being fearful to fall asleep.

I BACK SUCKAAAS